The Sex Talk Your Oncologist Never Had With You
Ladies - let's talk about sex
My nurse practitioners told me I’d need condoms with my husband after my cancer diagnosis.
We’ve been married since 1998. Monogamous. The whole nine yards. But there I was, six weeks into treatment, dutifully using condoms because that’s what my medical team told me to do.
My sister finally asked: “Did you ask if it’s about pregnancy prevention or chemo risk?”
I hadn’t asked. Turns out, it was just pregnancy prevention.
I have no ovaries. If I get pregnant, it’s the Messiah.
That was the extent of my “sex after cancer” conversation with my medical team. Unnecessary condoms. Nothing about desire, pain, atrophy, or what happens when hormone blockers steal your sparkle.
That awkward moment? It’s the norm.
87% of cancer patients report sexual dysfunction during treatment.
Only 27% are ever asked about it.
This week on Kicking Cancer’s Ass, I sat down with clinical sexologist Richelle Menzies, USA Today bestselling romance author Cara Lockwood, and pharmacologist Dr. Erika Reith—all breast cancer survivors—to break the silence on what happens to your sex life when cancer treatment crashes your hormones, eliminates sensation, and erases desire.
We covered:
Why vaginal atrophy became so severe that even washing was painful—and the one intervention that reversed it
How testosterone restored energy within one week and libido within three months
The traffic light framework for negotiating intimacy when everything feels broken
The six-week protocol that rewires your brain after mastectomy eliminates sensation
Richelle said it best: “Hormone blockers took my sparkle.”
But here’s what nobody tells you: You get to decide what comes next.
Cancer doesn’t get to decide you’re done being a sexual being. Medical professionals don’t either.
Get the full episode: Apple | Spotify | YouTube
Paid subscribers get the full article, including:
The three biggest myths about sex and cancer that keep women suffering in silence—and the truth that sets you free
Specific medical interventions (vaginal estrogen, testosterone therapy, progressive touch protocols) with research proving they’re safe for hormone-positive cancers
The exact questions to ask your oncologist, OB-GYN, and survivorship specialist when they won’t bring it up
How to talk to your partner when your body feels like a stranger and you need to rebuild intimacy from scratch
Why sex during treatment isn’t just okay—it’s actually medicine for your mind and body
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Richelle’s Libido Recovery Masterclass (for couples)
Course
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