My darling daughter,
I saw how much my diagnosis impacted you. I wish there were a magic wand or fairy godmother to take away this genetic mutation and its manifestation as a breast cancer tumor. But there isn't. And we don't know if you have it anyway. Your tears and fears are a natural response and I hope that the course of my treatment gave you hope and made you proud.
It is normal and ok for you to feel fear about your future and would you be an early case of breast cancer. You may wonder what our breast cancer history and genetic mutation might mean for your future partner and future children. And then you may feel guilty thinking about yourself and your future while I endure treatment right now.
Don't.
There's no guilt required. I was concerned for my mother, my sister, and me when my mother was first diagnosed and every time afterwards with Grandma and Aunt Tracey’s diagnoses. That's normal.
There are things you need to do as the daughter of a cancer patient:
Tell every medical professional that your mother, aunt, and grandmother are all breast cancer survivors. Your doctors will pay extra attention to you.
Talk with a hereditary cancer doctor about the ramifications of testing and when. You aren't ethically allowed to test until you are at least 18, but you may elect to wait longer. They will also be the experts on the cutting edge of prevention, detection, and treatment.
Try not to catastrophize or be fatalistic. Doctors usually can cure cancers caught early. Your high risk will always ensure you have access to the best screenings. I hope you never have cancer, but if you do, I hope it's early. You will have to be a proactive advocate for the screening you need. It should be mammogram/ultrasound for Month 1, bilateral MRI for month 7. That means you scan your breasts every six months.
My treatment and surgery were not devastating, and medical science continues to improve, so if you ever get it, I think your treatment will be even easier than mine. The hereditary cancer clinic shared some information about a long-period trial that has shown effectiveness in delaying the onset of breast cancer so that you, and women like us, can bear and nurse children before a prophylactic salpingo-oophorectomy and mastectomy, if those are procedures you choose to do someday. I'm also bullish on novel tumor detection technologies that save lives and money.
The future is bright for both of us. The next few months will be rockier than usual, but nothing has changed for you. You knew I had the gene and was living a healthy life. I believe my choices before cancer - not smoking, regular exercise, eating a nutritious diet, light drinking, and nursing my children for a year each - helped make my recovery from cancer swift. I hope you prioritize healthy living. I hope you test negative. If you test positive, I hope that you have as long as I did before making the difficult surgical choices.
I love you, and I'm here for you. You will find friends you can rely on. It only takes one friend to get through this. You also have your brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents who would drop everything to talk with you if needed.
I know this is scary and disruptive. I also know you are exceptional; when you put your mind to something, you are unstoppable. I look forward to seeing what you create or drive from this experience. Love you! Mom