It’s been one year since my last drain was removed and I was deemed both cured and free to do whatever I wanted. Reflecting on my journey and what I learned by reviewing, editing, and rewriting my Caring Bridge and this substack into a self-help book for the newly diagnosed (coming early 2025), I wanted to offer newly diagnosed cancer patients AND the people who love them an easy checklist to create their own approach to this unwelcome journey. In retrospect, and with gratitude that my treatment was both short and effective, my cancer year became one of the happiest of my life. I felt so much love, connection, strength, optimism, and joy. Not everyone will have the same speed or outcome, but hopefully I can shine a light on how everyone can feel more joy.
This checklist is NOT designed to be done all at once. It’s more of a prompt for what you can do along the journey.
Please let me know if this is helpful and what you would add or delete.
1. Embrace Your Emotions:
Acknowledge that your emotions will be an ongoing process throughout your journey
Allow yourself to feel shocked, wronged, angry, scared, or sad in the initial stages
Understand that whatever you're feeling is valid and appropriate
Identify and reach out to people who can support you best during this time
Seek support from those who are comfortable with uncertainty and can prioritize your feelings
2. Ground Yourself in What You Know:
Focus on the information you have about your diagnosis, such as tumor size and pathology
Avoid searching the internet for generic information about your breast cancer
Instead, reach out to your network for referrals to experienced and reputable oncologists
Gather facts and recommendations from trusted medical professionals
3. Face Your Fears:
Acknowledge the natural desire to want the cancer removed from your body quickly
Understand that immediate action may not always be the best or most feasible approach
Read ahead to the treatment and surgery chapters to gain a more realistic understanding of what to expect
Recognize that your imagination may be conjuring worst-case scenarios that are unlikely to occur
Remember that every person's breast cancer journey is unique, and yours will be tailored to your specific needs
4. Assemble a Top-Notch Medical Team:
Leverage your network to gather recommendations for oncologists and treatment centers
Seek oncologists who specialize in your specific breast cancer pathology
If local specialists aren't available, explore telehealth options for second opinions from experts
Prepare a list of questions in advance of each appointment
Bring a support person to appointments to take notes and provide emotional support
During appointments, systematically check off your prepared questions
After each appointment, review notes and create a new list of follow-up questions
Remember that building your medical team is an ongoing process; it's okay to make changes if needed
5. Communicate Openly and Advocate for Yourself:
Share your diagnosis with friends and family, and be specific about how they can support you
Be proactive in advocating for your personal and medical needs
Ask questions, seek information, and actively participate in your treatment decisions
Listen to others' experiences with breast cancer treatment before forming your advocacy strategy
Share any changes in your body with your medical team, no matter how small they may seem
6. Prioritize Self-Care and Joy:
Engage in activities that bring you happiness and a sense of normalcy
Practice self-care through rest, nutrition, and gentle physical activity
Set mini-milestones to celebrate progress throughout your journey
Create rituals around treatment and/or days off that turn drudgery into joy
Be open to humor and deputize people to share amusing things with you regularly
7. Focus on Your Mindset:
Be in the present moment and celebrate small victories along the way
Consider framing your treatment as something you "get to do" to obliterate cancer
Remember that feeling down happens and doesn't last; if it persists, seek mental health support
Engage in activities that help shape your mindset, such as meditation, exercise, or talking with survivors
8. Explore Your Priorities:
Reflect on how the "cancer filter" may have changed your perspective on life
Consider how your priorities may have shifted since your diagnosis
Explore activities or projects that align with your current values and goals
Think about ways you might want to give back or support others, if that feels right for you
9. Celebrate Your Unique Journey:
Acknowledge that your cancer experience is distinct and personal
Embrace your individuality and the strength you've demonstrated
Create a narrative that reflects your own voice, values, and aspirations
Remember, creating your approach is an ongoing process and you will make adjustments. Be patient with yourself, and don't hesitate to reach out for support when needed. By creating am approach that resonates with you, you can navigate your breast cancer journey with resilience, hope, and love.
Check back for a downloadable workbook to guide through creating your approach.